Care keeps his watch in every old mans eye,
And where care lodges sleep will never lie;
But where unbruised youth with unstuffd brain
Doth couch his limbs, there golden sleep doth reign.
Therefore thy earliness doth me assure
Thou art uprousd with some distemperature;
Or if not so, then here I hit it right,
Our Romeo hath not been in bed tonight.
Romeo
That last is true; the sweeter rest was mine.
Friar Lawrence
God pardon sin. Wast thou with Rosaline?
Romeo
With Rosaline, my ghostly father? No.
I have forgot that name, and that names woe.
Friar Lawrence
Thats my good son. But where hast thou been then?
Romeo
Ill tell thee ere thou ask it me again.
I have been feasting with mine enemy,
Where on a sudden one hath wounded me
Thats by me wounded. Both our remedies
Within thy help and holy physic lies.
I bear no hatred, blessed man; for lo,
My intercession likewise steads my foe.
Friar Lawrence
Be plain, good son, and homely in thy drift;
Riddling confession finds but riddling shrift.
Romeo
Then plainly know my hearts dear love is set
On the fair daughter of rich Capulet
As mine on hers, so hers is set on mine;
And all combind, save what thou must combine
By holy marriage. When, and where, and how
We met, we wood, and made exchange of vow,
Ill tell thee as we pass; but this I pray,
That thou consent to marry us today.
Friar Lawrence
Holy Saint Francis! What a change is here!
Is Rosaline, that thou didst love so dear,
So soon forsaken? Young mens love then lies
Not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.
Jesu Maria, what a deal of brine
Hath washd thy sallow cheeks for Rosaline!
How much salt water thrown away in waste,
To season love, that of it doth not taste.
The sun not yet thy sighs from heaven clears,
Thy old groans yet ring in mine ancient ears.
Lo here upon thy cheek the stain doth sit
Of an old tear that is not washd off yet.
If ere thou wast thyself, and these woes thine,
Thou and these woes were all for Rosaline,
And art thou changd? Pronounce this sentence then,
Women may fall, when theres no strength in men.
Romeo
Thou chiddst me oft for loving Rosaline.
Friar Lawrence
For doting, not for loving, pupil mine.
Romeo
And badst me bury love.
Friar Lawrence
Not in a grave
To lay one in, another out to have.
Romeo
I pray thee chide me not, her I love now
Doth grace for grace and love for love allow.
The other did not so.
Friar Lawrence
O, she knew well
Thy love did read by rote, that could not spell.
But come young waverer, come go with me,
In one respect Ill thy assistant be;
For this alliance may so happy prove,
To turn your households rancour to pure love.
Romeo
O let us hence; I stand on sudden haste.
Friar Lawrence
Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast.
[Exeunt.]
Scene IV
A Street. Enter Benvolio and Mercutio.
Mercutio
Where the devil should this Romeo be? Came he not home tonight?
Benvolio
Not to his fathers; I spoke with his man.
Mercutio
Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline, torments him so that he will sure run mad.
Benvolio
Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet, hath sent a letter to his fathers house.
Mercutio
A challenge, on my life.
Benvolio
Romeo will answer it.
Mercutio
Any man that can write may answer a letter.
Benvolio
Nay, he will answer the letters master, how he dares, being dared.
Mercutio
Alas poor Romeo, he is already dead, stabbed with a white wenchs black eye; run through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boys butt-shaft. And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
Benvolio
Why, what is Tybalt?
Mercutio
More than Prince of cats. O, hes the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rest, one, two, and the third in your bosom: the very butcher of a silk button, a duellist, a duellist; a gentleman of the very first house, of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal passado, the punto reverso, the hay.
Benvolio
The what?
Mercutio
The pox of such antic lisping, affecting phantasies; these new tuners of accent. By Jesu, a very good blade, a very tall man, a very good whore. Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these pardon-mes, who stand so much on the new form that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? O their bones, their bones!
Enter Romeo.
Benvolio
Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!
Mercutio
Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura, to his lady, was but a kitchen wench, marry, she had a better love to berhyme her: Dido a dowdy; Cleopatra a gypsy; Helen and Hero hildings and harlots; Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose. Signior Romeo, bonjour! Theres a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
Romeo
Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
Mercutio
The slip sir, the slip; can you not conceive?
Romeo
Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
Mercutio
Thats as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
Romeo
Meaning, to curtsy.
Mercutio
Thou hast most kindly hit it.
Romeo
A most courteous exposition.
Mercutio
Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
Romeo
Pink for flower.
Mercutio
Right.
Romeo
Why, then is my pump well flowered.
Mercutio
Sure wit, follow me this jest now, till thou hast worn out thy pump, that when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain after the wearing, solely singular.
Romeo
O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness!
Mercutio
Come between us, good Benvolio; my wits faint.
Romeo
Swits and spurs, swits and spurs; or Ill cry a match.
Mercutio
Nay, if thy wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done. For thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits, than I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?
Romeo
Thou wast never with me for anything, when thou wast not there for the goose.
Mercutio
I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
Romeo
Nay, good goose, bite not.
Mercutio
Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce.
Romeo
And is it not then well served in to a sweet goose?
Mercutio
O heres a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell broad.
Romeo
I stretch it out for that word broad, which added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
Mercutio
Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature. For this drivelling love is like a great natural, that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
Benvolio
Stop there, stop there.
Mercutio
Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
Benvolio
Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
Mercutio
O, thou art deceived; I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant indeed to occupy the argument no longer.
Enter Nurse and Peter.
Romeo
Heres goodly gear!
A sail, a sail!
Mercutio
Two, two; a shirt and a smock.
Nurse
Peter!
Peter
Anon.
Nurse
My fan, Peter.
Mercutio
Good Peter, to hide her face; for her fans the fairer face.
Nurse
God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
Mercutio
God ye good-den, fair gentlewoman.
Nurse
Is it good-den?
Mercutio
Tis no less, I tell ye; for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
Nurse
Out upon you! What a man are you?
Romeo
One, gentlewoman, that God hath made for himself to mar.
Nurse
By my troth, it is well said; for himself to mar, quoth a? Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young Romeo?
Romeo
I can tell you: but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
Nurse
You say well.
Mercutio
Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, ifaith; wisely, wisely.
Nurse
If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
Benvolio
She will endite him to some supper.
Mercutio
A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
Romeo
What hast thou found?
Mercutio
No hare, sir; unless a hare, sir, in a lenten pie, that is something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
[Sings.]
An old hare hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
Is very good meat in Lent;
But a hare that is hoar
Is too much for a score
When it hoars ere it be spent.
Romeo, will you come to your fathers? Well to dinner thither.
Romeo
I will follow you.
Mercutio
Farewell, ancient lady; farewell, lady, lady, lady.
[Exeunt Mercutio and Benvolio]
Nurse
I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?
Romeo
A gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself talk, and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.
Nurse
And a speak anything against me, Ill take him down, and a were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks. And if I cannot, Ill find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills; I am none of his skains-mates.-And thou must stand by too and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure!
Peter
I saw no man use you at his pleasure; if I had, my weapon should quickly have been out. I warrant you, I dare draw as soon as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel, and the law on my side.
Nurse
Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave. Pray you, sir, a word: and as I told you, my young lady bid me enquire you out; what she bade me say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her in a fools paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behaviour, as they say; for the gentlewoman is young. And therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
Romeo
Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I protest unto thee,-
Nurse
Good heart, and ifaith I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
Romeo
What wilt thou tell her, Nurse? Thou dost not mark me.
Nurse
I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
Romeo
Bid her devise
Some means to come to shrift this afternoon,
And there she shall at Friar Lawrence cell
Be shrivd and married. Here is for thy pains.
Nurse
No truly, sir; not a penny.
Romeo
Go to; I say you shall.
Nurse
This afternoon, sir? Well, she shall be there.
Romeo
And stay, good Nurse, behind the abbey wall.
Within this hour my man shall be with thee,
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
Which to the high topgallant of my joy
Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell, be trusty, and Ill quit thy pains;
Farewell; commend me to thy mistress.
Nurse
Now God in heaven bless thee. Hark you, sir.
Romeo
What sayst thou, my dear Nurse?
Nurse
Is your man secret? Did you neer hear say,
Two may keep counsel, putting one away?
Romeo
I warrant thee my mans as true as steel.
Nurse
Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady. Lord, Lord! When twas a little prating thing, O, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard; but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes, and tell her that Paris is the properer man, but Ill warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter?
Romeo
Ay, Nurse; what of that? Both with an R.
Nurse
Ah, mocker! Thats the dogs name. R is for the-no, I know it begins with some other letter, and she hath the prettiest sententious of it, of you and rosemary, that it would do you good to hear it.
Romeo
Commend me to thy lady.
Nurse
Ay, a thousand times. Peter!
[Exit Romeo]
Peter
Anon.
Nurse
Before and apace.
[Exeunt.]
Scene V
Capulets Garden. Enter Juliet.
Juliet
The clock struck nine when I did send the Nurse,
In half an hour she promised to return.
Perchance she cannot meet him. Thats not so.
O, she is lame. Loves heralds should be thoughts,
Which ten times faster glides than the suns beams,
Driving back shadows over lowering hills:
Therefore do nimble-piniond doves draw love,
And therefore hath the wind-swift Cupid wings.
Now is the sun upon the highmost hill
Of this days journey, and from nine till twelve
Is three long hours, yet she is not come.
Had she affections and warm youthful blood,
Shed be as swift in motion as a ball;
My words would bandy her to my sweet love,
And his to me.
But old folks, many feign as they were dead;
Unwieldy, slow, heavy and pale as lead.
Enter Nurse and Peter.
O God, she comes. O honey Nurse, what news?
Hast thou met with him? Send thy man away.
Nurse
Peter, stay at the gate.
[Exit Peter.]
Juliet
Now, good sweet Nurse, O Lord, why lookst thou sad?
Though news be sad, yet tell them merrily;
If good, thou shamst the music of sweet news
By playing it to me with so sour a face.
Nurse
I am aweary, give me leave awhile;
Fie, how my bones ache! What a jaunt have I had!
Juliet
I would thou hadst my bones, and I thy news:
Nay come, I pray thee speak; good, good Nurse, speak.
Nurse
Jesu, what haste? Can you not stay a while? Do you not see that I am out of breath?
Juliet
How art thou out of breath, when thou hast breath
To say to me that thou art out of breath?
The excuse that thou dost make in this delay
Is longer than the tale thou dost excuse.
Is thy news good or bad? Answer to that;
Say either, and Ill stay the circumstance.
Let me be satisfied, ist good or bad?
Nurse
Well, you have made a simple choice; you know not how to choose a man. Romeo? No, not he. Though his face be better than any mans, yet his leg excels all mens, and for a hand and a foot, and a body, though they be not to be talked on, yet they are past compare. He is not the flower of courtesy, but Ill warrant him as gentle as a lamb. Go thy ways, wench, serve God. What, have you dined at home?
Juliet
No, no. But all this did I know before.
What says he of our marriage? What of that?
Nurse
Lord, how my head aches! What a head have I!
It beats as it would fall in twenty pieces.
My back o tother side, O my back, my back!
Beshrew your heart for sending me about
To catch my death with jauncing up and down.
Juliet
Ifaith, I am sorry that thou art not well.
Sweet, sweet, sweet Nurse, tell me, what says my love?
Nurse
Your love says like an honest gentleman,
And a courteous, and a kind, and a handsome,
And I warrant a virtuous, Where is your mother?
Juliet
Where is my mother? Why, she is within.
Where should she be? How oddly thou repliest.
Your love says, like an honest gentleman,
Where is your mother?
Nurse
O Gods lady dear,
Are you so hot? Marry, come up, I trow.
Is this the poultice for my aching bones?
Henceforward do your messages yourself.
Juliet
Heres such a coil. Come, what says Romeo?
Nurse
Have you got leave to go to shrift today?
Juliet
I have.
Nurse
Then hie you hence to Friar Lawrence cell;
There stays a husband to make you a wife.
Now comes the wanton blood up in your cheeks,
Theyll be in scarlet straight at any news.
Hie you to church. I must another way,
To fetch a ladder by the which your love
Must climb a birds nest soon when it is dark.
I am the drudge, and toil in your delight;
But you shall bear the burden soon at night.
Go. Ill to dinner; hie you to the cell.
Juliet
Hie to high fortune! Honest Nurse, farewell.
[Exeunt.]
Scene VI
Friar Lawrences Cell. Enter Friar Lawrence and Romeo.
Friar Lawrence
So smile the heavens upon this holy act
That after-hours with sorrow chide us not.
Romeo
Amen, amen, but come what sorrow can,
It cannot countervail the exchange of joy
That one short minute gives me in her sight.
Do thou but close our hands with holy words,
Then love-devouring death do what he dare,
It is enough I may but call her mine.