education ["edju(:)'keIS(q)n], fierce [fIqs], yell [jel]
With a college education and a good job, maybe I could do that. I wanted to do that. I loved her. She had a fierce temper and an ugly mouth on her — that day we waited for the Bullet and then I chickened out wasn't the only time she ever yelled at me and then swatted me — but I loved her in spite of it. Partly even because of it. I loved her when she hit me as much as when she kissed me. Do you understand that? Me either. And that's all right. I don't think you can sum up lives or explain families, and we were a family, she and I, the smallest family there is, a tight little family of two, a shared secret. If you had asked, I would have said I'd do anything for her. And now that was exactly what I was being asked to do. I was being asked to die for her, to die in her place, even though she had lived half her life, probably a lot more. I had hardly begun mine.
“What say, Al (что скажешь, Эл)?” George Staub asked. “Time's wasting (время уходит: «теряется»).”
“I can't decide something like that (я не могу решать такое = сделать такой выбор),” I said hoarsely (хрипло). The moon sailed above the road (луна плыла над дорогой), swift and brilliant (быстрая и сияющая). It's not fair to ask me (несправедливо спрашивать меня; fair — привлекательный; честный; справедливый).”
“I know, and believe me, that's what they all say (я знаю, и поверь мне, все так говорят: «это то, что говорят все»).” Then he lowered his voice (затем он понизил голос). “But I gotta tell you something (но я должен кое-что тебе сказать; gotta = /have/ got to) if you don't decide by the time we get back to the first house lights (если ты не решишь к тому времени, как мы доберемся до огней первого дома), I'll have to take you both (я должен буду забрать вас обоих).” He frowned, then brightened again (он нахмурился, потом снова повеселел/его лицо прояснилось), as if remembering there was good news as well as bad (как будто вспомнил, что есть и хорошие новости, а не только плохие). “You could ride together in the backseat if I took you both (вы можете ехать вместе на заднем сидении, если я заберу вас обоих), talk over old times, there's that (говорить о старых временах, вот что).”
“Ride to where (ехать куда)?”
lower ['lquq], frown [fraun], brighten ['braItn]
“What say, Al?” George Staub asked. “Time's wasting.”
“I can't decide something like that, I said hoarsely. The moon sailed above the road, swift and brilliant. It's not fair to ask me.”
“I know, and believe me, that's what they all say.” Then he lowered his voice. “But I gotta tell you something if you don't decide by the time we get back to the first house lights, I'll have to take you both.” He frowned, then brightened again, as if remembering there was good news as well as bad. “You could ride together in the backseat if I took you both, talk over old times, there's that.”
“Ride to where?”
He didn't reply (он не ответил). Perhaps he didn't know (возможно, он не знал). The trees blurred by like black ink (деревья проносились мимо, сливались в сплошное темное пятно, как черные чернила; blur — пятно; клякса; to blur — пачкать/ся/; смазывать; делать/ся/ неясным; by — мимо). The headlights rushed and the road rolled (передние фары мчались = свет фар мчался /вперед/, и дорога исчезала под колесами: «катилась/вращалась»). I was twenty-one (мне был двадцать один /год/). I wasn't a virgin but I'd only been with a girl once (я не был девственником, но я был с девушкой только однажды) and I'd been drunk and couldn't remember much of what it had been like (но я был пьян и не мог хорошо вспомнить, на что это было похоже). There were a thousand places I wanted to go (была тысяча мест, куда я хотел бы поехать) — Los Angeles (Лос-Анджелес), Tahiti (Таити), maybe Luchenbach, Texas (может быть, Люхенбах, /штат/ Техас) — and a thousand things I wanted to do (и тысячи вещей, которые я хотел бы сделать). My mother was forty-eight and that was old, goddammit (моей матери было сорок восемь, она была старой, черт возьми). Mrs. McCurdy wouldn't say so but Mrs. McCurdy was old herself (миссис МакКурди так не сказала бы, но она сама была старой). My mother had done right by me (моя мама делала все для меня; to do right by smb. — поступать, обращаться с кем-либо правильно, хорошо, справедливо), worked all those long hours and taken care of me (работала все эти долгие часы и заботилась обо мне), but had I chosen her life for her (но я ли выбрал жизнь для нее)? Asked to be born and then demanded that she live for me (просил, чтобы меня родили: «быть рожденным», а потом требовал, чтобы она жила ради меня; to bear — носить, нести; рождать, производить на свет)? She was forty-eight. I was twenty-one. I had, as they said, my whole life before me (у меня была, как говорится, вся жизнь впереди: «передо мной»). But was that the way you judged (но так ли бы вы судили)? How did you decide a thing like this (как бы вы решили такой вопрос)? How could you decide a thing like this (как можно решить такой вопрос)?
perhaps [pq'hxps], [prxps], virgin ['vWGIn], born [bLn]
He didn't reply. Perhaps he didn't know. The trees blurred by like black ink. The headlights rushed and the road rolled. I was twenty-one. I wasn't a virgin but I'd only been with a girl once and I'd been drunk and couldn't remember much of what it had been like. There were a thousand places I wanted to go — Los Angeles, Tahiti, maybe Luchenbach, Texas — and a thousand things I wanted to do. My mother was forty-eight and that was old, goddammit. Mrs. McCurdy wouldn't say so but Mrs. McCurdy was old herself. My mother had done right by me, worked all those long hours and taken care of me, but had I chosen her life for her? Asked to be born and then demanded that she live for me? She was forty-eight. I was twenty-one. I had, as they said, my whole life before me. But was that the way you judged? How did you decide a thing like this? How could you decide a thing like this?
The woods bolting by (деревья, проносящиеся мимо). The moon looking down like a bright and deadly eye (луна, смотрящая вниз, как яркий и мертвый глаз).
“Better hurry up, man (лучше поторопись, приятель), George Staub said. “We're running out of wilderness (мы выезжаем из дикой местности; wilderness — дикаяместность; глухомань).”
I opened my mouth and tried to speak (я открыл рот и попробовал говорить). Nothing came out but an arid sigh (ничего не вышло, только сухой вздох).
“Here, got just the thing (погоди, у меня есть как раз то, что /тебе/ нужно),” he said, and reached behind him (сказал он и протянул руку назад). His shirt pulled up again and I got another look (его рубашка снова задралась, и я получил возможность еще раз взглянуть) (I could have done without it (я мог бы обойтись без этого)) at the stitched black line on his belly (на покрытую стежками черную линию на его животе). Were there still guts behind that line (были ли еще внутренности под этой линией; guts — кишки; внутренние органы) or just packing soaked in chemicals (или просто набивка = вата, пропитанная химикатами)? When he brought his hand back (когда он притянул руку обратно), he had a can of beer in it (в ней была банка пива) — one of those he'd bought at the state line store on his last ride, presumably (по-видимому, одна из тех, которые он купил в магазине у границы штата во время последней поездки; to presume — предполагать, полагать).
“I know how it is (я знаю, каково это),” he said. “Stress gets you dry in the mouth (от напряжения становится сухо во рту: «напряжение делает тебя сухим во рту»). Here (вот /возьми/).
wilderness ['wIldqnIs], soak [squk], presumably [prI'zjHmqblI]
The woods bolting by. The moon looking down like a bright and deadly eye.
“Better hurry up, man,” George Staub said. “We're running out of wilderness.”
I opened my mouth and tried to speak. Nothing came out but an arid sigh.
“Here, got just the thing,” he said, and reached behind him. His shirt pulled up again and I got another look (I could have done without it) at the stitched black line on his belly. Were there still guts behind that line or just packing soaked in chemicals? When he brought his hand back, he had a can of beer in it — one of those he'd bought at the state line store on his last ride, presumably.
“I know how it is,” he said. “Stress gets you dry in the mouth. Here.”
He handed me the can (он протянул мне банку). I took it (я взял ее), pulled the ringtab (потянул за кольцо; tab — петелька, ушко), and drank deeply (и жадно глотнул; deeply — глубоко; сильно, очень). The taste of the beer going down was cold and bitter (вкус пива, льющегося вниз = вжелудок, был холодный и горький). I've never had a beer since (с тех пор я никогда не пил пива). I just can't drink it (я просто не могу его пить). I can barely stand to watch the commercials on TV (я едва выношу просмотр рекламы по телевизору; to stand — стоять; выносить; терпеть).
Ahead of us in the blowing dark, a yellow light glimmered (впереди нас в ветреной темноте замерцал желтый свет; to blow — веять, дуть).
“Hurry up, Al — got to speed it up (поторопись, Эл, ты должен /решать/ быстрее; to speed up — увеличивать скорость; ускоряться). That's the first house, right up at the top of this hill (вот первый дом прямо на вершине этого холма). If you got something to say to me, you better say it now (если у тебя есть, что мне сказать, лучше скажи это сейчас).”
barely [bFqlI], commercial [kq'mWS(q)l], blow [blqu]
He handed me the can. I took it, pulled the ringtab, and drank deeply. The taste of the beer going down was cold and bitter. I've never had a beer since. I just can't drink it. I can barely stand to watch the commercials on TV.
Ahead of us in the blowing dark, a yellow light glimmered.
“Hurry up, Al — got to speed it up. That's the first house, right up at the top of this hill. If you got something to say to me, you better say it now.”
The light disappeared (свет исчез), then came back again (затем вернулся снова), only now it was several lights (только сейчас огоньков было несколько). They were windows (это были окна). Behind them were ordinary people doing ordinary things (за ними были обычные люди, занимающиеся обычными делами) — watching TV (смотрели телевизор), feeding the cat (кормили кошку), maybe beating off in the bathroom (может быть, мастурбировали в ванной; to beat off — отбивать; отгонять/собаку/; /разг./ мастурбировать).
I thought of us standing in line at Thrill Village (я подумал о нас, стоящих = вспомнил, какмыстояли в очереди в деревне развлечений), Jean and Alan Parker, a big woman with dark patches of sweat around the armpits of her sundress and her little boy (большая женщина с темными пятнами пота в области подмышек на ее сарафане и ее маленький мальчик; sundress — открытоелетнееплатье; сарафан). She hadn't wanted to stand in that line (она не хотела стоять в этой очереди), Staub was right about that (был прав в этом)... but I had pestered pestered pestered (но я канючил/допекал, допекал, допекал). He had been right about that, too (в этом он тоже был прав). She had swatted me (она ударила меня), but she had stood in line with me, too (но она же и стояла со мной в очереди). She had stood with me in a lot of lines (она стояла со мной во многих очередях), and I could go over all of it again (и я мог бы вспомнить все это: «пройтись по этому» снова), all the arguments pro and con (все аргументы за и против), but there was no time (но не было времени).
“Take her (возьми ее),” I said as the lights of the first house swept toward the Mustang (сказал я, когда огни первого дома понеслись навстречу “мустангу”; to sweep — мести, подметать; мчать/ся/, нестись). My voice was hoarse and raw and loud (мой голос был хриплый, сиплый/грубый и громкий; raw — сырой /о пище/; ободранный, лишенный кожи, кровоточащий; воспаленный, болезненный /о горле/). “Take her, take my ma, don't take me (возьми ее, возьми мою маму, не бери меня).”
“Hurry up, Al — got to speed it up. That's the first house, right up at the top of this hill. If you got something to say to me, you better say it now.”
The light disappeared (свет исчез), then came back again (затем вернулся снова), only now it was several lights (только сейчас огоньков было несколько). They were windows (это были окна). Behind them were ordinary people doing ordinary things (за ними были обычные люди, занимающиеся обычными делами) — watching TV (смотрели телевизор), feeding the cat (кормили кошку), maybe beating off in the bathroom (может быть, мастурбировали в ванной; to beat off — отбивать; отгонять/собаку/; /разг./ мастурбировать).
I thought of us standing in line at Thrill Village (я подумал о нас, стоящих = вспомнил, какмыстояли в очереди в деревне развлечений), Jean and Alan Parker, a big woman with dark patches of sweat around the armpits of her sundress and her little boy (большая женщина с темными пятнами пота в области подмышек на ее сарафане и ее маленький мальчик; sundress — открытоелетнееплатье; сарафан). She hadn't wanted to stand in that line (она не хотела стоять в этой очереди), Staub was right about that (был прав в этом)... but I had pestered pestered pestered (но я канючил/допекал, допекал, допекал). He had been right about that, too (в этом он тоже был прав). She had swatted me (она ударила меня), but she had stood in line with me, too (но она же и стояла со мной в очереди). She had stood with me in a lot of lines (она стояла со мной во многих очередях), and I could go over all of it again (и я мог бы вспомнить все это: «пройтись по этому» снова), all the arguments pro and con (все аргументы за и против), but there was no time (но не было времени).
“Take her (возьми ее),” I said as the lights of the first house swept toward the Mustang (сказал я, когда огни первого дома понеслись навстречу “мустангу”; to sweep — мести, подметать; мчать/ся/, нестись). My voice was hoarse and raw and loud (мой голос был хриплый, сиплый/грубый и громкий; raw — сырой /о пище/; ободранный, лишенный кожи, кровоточащий; воспаленный, болезненный /о горле/). “Take her, take my ma, don't take me (возьми ее, возьми мою маму, не бери меня).”
ordinary ['LdnrI], argument ['Rgjumqnt], raw [rL]
The light disappeared, then came back again, only now it was several lights. They were windows. Behind them were ordinary people doing ordinary things watching TV, feeding the cat, maybe beating off in the bathroom.
I thought of us standing in line at Thrill Village, Jean and Alan Parker, a big woman with dark patches of sweat around the armpits of her sundress and her little boy. She hadn't wanted to stand in that line, Staub was right about that... but I had pestered pestered pestered. He had been right about that, too. She had swatted me, but she had stood in line with me, too. She had stood with me in a lot of lines, and I could go over all of it again, all the arguments pro and con, but there was no time.
“Take her,” I said as the lights of the first house swept toward the Mustang. My voice was hoarse and raw and loud. “Take her, take my ma, don't take me.”
I threw the can of beer down on the floor of the car (я бросил банку из-под пива на пол машины) and put my hands up to my face (и закрыл лицо руками: «поднял руки к лицу»). He touched me then (потом он до меня дотронулся), touched the front of my shirt (дотронулся до переднего /края/ моей рубашки), his fingers fumbling (перебирая пальцами; to fumble — нащупывать; мять; теребить), and I thought — with sudden brilliant clarity — that it had all been a test (и я подумал = осознал с внезапной кристальной ясностью, что все это было проверкой; brilliant — блестящий, сверкающий). I had failed (я провалился) and now he was going to rip my beating heart right out of my chest (и сейчас он собирался вырвать мое бьющееся сердце прямо из моей груди), like an evil djinn in one of those cruel Arabian fairy tales (как злой джинн в одной из тех жестоких арабских сказок; fairy — фея; волшебница; fairy tale — /волшебная/ сказка). I screamed (я закричал). Then his fingers let go (потом его пальцы отпустили /меня/: «ушли») — it was as if he'd changed his mind at the last second (как будто он передумал в последнюю секунду; to change one’s mind — изменить намерение/решение, передумать) — and he reached past me (и он потянулся/протянул руку мимо меня). For one moment my nose and lungs were so full of his deathly smell that I felt positive I was dead myself (на мгновение мои нос и легкие настолько наполнились его мертвым запахом, что я точно почувствовал, что умер сам). Then there was the click of the door opening (затем послышался щелчок открывающейся двери) and cold fresh air came streaming in (и поток холодного свежего воздуха устремился внутрь; stream — поток, ручей), washing the death smell away (смывая запах смерти).
scream [skrJm], lung [lAN], deathly ['deTlI]
I threw the can of beer down on the floor of the car and put my hands up to my face. He touched me then, touched the front of my shirt, his fingers fumbling, and I thought — with sudden brilliant clarity — that it had all been a test. I had failed and now he was going to rip my beating heart right out of my chest, like an evil djinn in one of those cruel Arabian fairy tales. I screamed. Then his fingers let go — it was as if he'd changed his mind at the last second — and he reached past me. For one moment my nose and lungs were so full of his deathly smell that I felt positive I was dead myself. Then there was the click of the door opening and cold fresh air came streaming in, washing the death smell away.
“Pleasant dreams (приятных снов), Al,” he grunted in my ear and then pushed (буркнул он мне в ухо и толкнул; to grunt — хрюкать; буркнуть). I went rolling out into the windy October darkness with my eyes closed (я выкатился в ветреную октябрьскую темноту с закрытыми глазами) and my hands raised (поднятыми руками) and my body tensed for the bone-breaking smashdown (и телом, напряженным в ожидании удара, от которого сломаются кости;to break — ломать; smash — грохот, стукприпадении; сокрушительныйудар, сильныйудар). I might have been screaming, I don't remember for sure (должно быть, я кричал — точно не помню).
The smashdown didn't come and after an endless moment I realized I was already down (удара не было, и после бесконечно длящегося момента я осознал, что уже внизу) — I could feel the ground under me (я чувствовал под собой землю). I opened my eyes (я открыл глаза), then squeezed them shut almost at once (потом зажмурил их почти сразу же; to squeeze — сжать; сдавливать). The glare of the moon was blinding (яркий свет луны был ослепляющим). It sent a bolt of pain through my head (боль ударила в голову: «он послал/пустил стрелу боли сквозь = в мою голову»), one that settled not behind my eyes (боль, которая разместилась не за глазами), where you usually feel pain after staring into an unexpectedly bright light (где обычно чувствуешь боль, после того как посмотришь на неожиданно яркий свет), but in the back, way down low just above the nape of my neck (но сзади, довольно низко, чуть повыше шеи: «как раз над задней частью шеи»; way down — далеко). I became aware that my legs and bottom were cold and wet (я начал сознавать, что мои ноги и зад были холодными и мокрыми). I didn't care (мне было все равно: «я не заботился»). I was on the ground, and that was all I cared about (я был на земле, это все, что меня волновало = остальное не имело значения).
glare [glFq], blind [blaInd], unexpectedly ['AnIks'pektIdlI]
Pleasant dreams, Al, he grunted in my ear and then pushed. I went rolling out into the windy October darkness with my eyes closed and my hands raised and my body tensed for the bone-breaking smashdown. I might have been screaming, I don't remember for sure.
The smashdown didn't come and after an endless moment I realized I was already down — I could feel the ground under me. I opened my eyes, then squeezed them shut almost at once. The glare of the moon was blinding. It sent a bolt of pain through my head, one that settled not behind my eyes, where you usually feel pain after staring into an unexpectedly bright light, but in the back, way down low just above the nape of my neck. I became aware that my legs and bottom were cold and wet. I didn't care. I was on the ground, and that was all I cared about.
I pushed up on my elbows and opened my eyes again (я приподнялся на локтях и снова открыл глаза), more cautiously this time (на этот раз более осторожно). I think I already knew where I was (думаю, я уже знал, где я находился), and one look around was enough to confirm it (и одного взгляда вокруг было достаточно, чтобы подтвердить это): lying on my back in the little graveyard at the top of the hill on Ridge Road (лежал на спине на маленьком кладбище на вершине холма на Ридж-роуд). The moon was almost directly overhead now (луна теперь была почти прямо над головой), fiercely bright but much smaller than it had been only a few moments before (неистово яркая, но намного меньше, чем она была всего несколько мгновений назад). The mist was deeper as well (туман тоже /изменился/, стал гуще; deep — глубокий; сильный; густой), lying over the cemetery like a blanket (/он/ лежал над кладбищем, как одеяло). A few markers poked up through it like stone islands (несколько надгробий торчали из него, как каменные островки;to poke up — тыкать, толкать; высовываться; торчать; marker — метка; ориентировочный знак; надгробие). I tried getting to my feet (я попытался встать на ноги) and another bolt of pain went through the back of my head (и боль еще раз ударила в затылок: «и еще одна стрела боли прошла через мой затылок»). I put my hand there and felt a lump (я приложил руку туда и почувствовал шишку; lump — глыба, ком; опухоль, шишка). There was sticky wetness, as well (было еще и /что-то/ вязкое и мокрое: «вязкая мокрота»). I looked at my hand (я посмотрел на руку). In the moonlight, the blood streaked across my palm looked black (в свете луны кровь, размазанная по ладони, казалась черной; streak — полоска; to streak — проводить полосы; размазывать полосами).
cautiously ['kLSqslI], blanket ['blxNkIt], island ['aIlqnd]
I pushed up on my elbows and opened my eyes again, more cautiously this time. I think I already knew where I was, and one look around was enough to confirm it: lying on my back in the little graveyard at the top of the hill on Ridge Road. The moon was almost directly overhead now, fiercely bright but much smaller than it had been only a few moments before. The mist was deeper as well, lying over the cemetery like a blanket. A few markers poked up through it like stone islands. I tried getting to my feet and another bolt of pain went through the back of my head. I put my hand there and felt a lump. There was sticky wetness, as well. I looked at my hand. In the moonlight, the blood streaked across my palm looked black.
On my second try I succeeded in getting up (со второй попытки мне удалось подняться;to succeed — следоватьзачем-то; преуспеть, достичьцели), and stood there swaying among the tombstones, knee-deep in mist (и /вот я/ стоял, покачиваясь, среди могильных камней, по колено в тумане). I turned around (я повернулся), saw the break in the rock wall and Ridge Road beyond it (увидел пролом в каменной стене и Ридж-роуд за ней). I couldn't see my pack because the mist had overlaid it (я не видел свой рюкзак, потому что туман накрыл его; to overlay), but I knew it was there (но я знал, что он там). If I walked out to the road in the left hand wheelrut of the lane, I'd find it (если я пойду к дороге по левой колее проезда, я найду его; lane — узкаядорога; проход, проезд). Hell, would likely stumble over it (черт, /я/ скорее всего, споткнусь о него).