Well, imagine your father being nothing more than a man and taking care of his little daughter, and surely inside he was thinking and saying, Little one, be at peace, Im here and nothings going to happen to you.
Yes, hed say something like that, because I would approach slowly to see her and my father wouldnt see me because I was hidden behind him, but I would hear him saying things like that, and I would also say, And Im going to take care of you too, but I would say it very quietly so that Dad wouldnt realize I was there.
You see? We all have feelings inside us that make us love others. Sometimes siblings, sometimes grandparents, he was telling me.
Yes, and parents too, I said, interrupting him.
Of course, parents too, because if God has created us in His own image, how is He not going to love us? he asked me softly, as if he were reflecting upon it himself.
But Grandpa I began to say.
No, Manu, I want you to think about all of this, I dont want to convince you of anything, just to tell you that He loves you and cares for you, even if you dont know who He is, or where He is.
The conversation ended and my father said:
Thanks Dad, I couldnt have done it that well, he wouldnt have listened to me.
I know son! Children dont listen to their parents, thats a generational thing, its no ones fault, but relax, the seed has been sown, itll blossom in the spring.
What are you talking about Grandpa? I said, because I didnt understand anything. What does a seed have to do with all that?
You pipe down, you want to know everything. This is between your father and me. He did not say any more and then exclaimed: Here comes your grandmother!
At that moment, we heard the key in the lock and I made my way quickly to the door. In truth, my intention was to hide and give her a scare, but when I got there I told myself, No! It might be bad for her, and before she came in I said:
Grandma, what are you doing outside your own house?
She finished opening the door and said:
What are you doing here? What a surprise! I wrapped my arms around her neck and told her:
I love you so much Nana!
Charmer! she said smiling. Youve come to have a snack, right? Just give me a minute to change my shoes, and put on my slippers, my feet are frozen.
After a while, now that she had gotten comfortable, as she put it, in her housecoat, which according to her was warmer than her actual coat, she went into the kitchen and in no time at all, she brought me one of those delicious sandwiches that she used to make me on cold days. Then she brought me an omelet which she had Stumbled across, as she liked to claim, with little chunks of chorizo through it, which were so delicious, and then she also brought me a glass of warm milk, and she asked me:
What about your assignment? How is it going?
I havent done it yet, I said jokingly.
If Id known that, I wouldnt have given you anything. You havent earned it, she told me, turning very serious with an irritated face.
Nana, Im only joking, I said, of course Ive done it all.
Dont ever stop doing what your teacher tells you to, she told me.
<<<<< >>>>>
I remember that first time I went to Fatima so long ago. I was overwhelmed by feelings; curiosity, fear, hope, what did I hope to find? What would that place that I thought I knew through my reading really be like?
I had searched everywhere, and I had read everything Id found about the events that had taken place there, but I wanted to see it all with my own eyes.
I left Santiago de Compostela one morning at dawn. I had a long journey of over 400 kilometers in front of me. It was raining, and boy was it raining. That rain was certainly not normal, I was saying to myself, while the cars windscreen wipers were moving ceaselessly from one side to the other.
I almost couldnt believe it, I was driving. I had recently taken my driving test and gotten my license, and I still remember how the urge to drive started.
Look, Manu, maybe you wont ever need it, but that way, youll have it, my friend told me on the day he suggested it to me.
He was very excited, he had gotten his license to help his father, whod had an accident and couldnt drive now because he had broken his leg in a fall and had had to get a cast. As he could not take time off work, his son had to take him there and bring him home every day in the car.
Santiago, the friend in question, encouraged me. He was the only person in my generation I knew who had a driving license.
Up to that point, it had only been something that our fathers did, and not even all of them, only those who needed it for their jobs like mine, who had to go to La Coruña or Madrid now and again, and theyd had to buy one for that reason. The truth is though that he didnt really like driving, and the car spent the vast majority of its time sitting parked outside, next to the door of the house, getting wet.
Manuel, the car spends so much time in the rain that someday itll start sprouting branches, my mother would say to my father from time to time.
Well, lets see if a tomato plant grows and we can have tomatoes for salad, he joked.
One Saturday afternoon, I went with Santiago for a drive as we didnt have class, and he let me take the wheel so I could see that there was nothing to it. I started to like it and that made me decide to learn, out of curiosity more than anything else, to see how I would do.
When I had it Mastered, as Santi put it, I decided to tell my family, even though I was pretty certain they were going to say no, and ask me why I wanted to.
Dad, I want to get a drivers license, I said one day when we were all sitting at the table.
Are you going to buy a car? Chelito asked immediately. With what money? What do you want it for?
Hold on a minute, said Mom, whats brought this on son? Why do you want a car? What you have to do is just think about your studies, thats your most important business for now.
Mom, its to ride around with his girlfriend, Tono immediately said mockingly.
Quiet everyone, said my father, Manu, what did you say? I didnt hear you properly.
And before I could continue, my sister Carmen said:
Well, I think you should do it. You never know what awaits you in life, and having it cant hurt.
My father, who always listened to Carmen because, as he said, She was the wise one in the family, asked her:
Do you think its good to have it?
Sure Dad, my sister laughed, its hardly going to be a bad thing.
Then with an angry tone, Mom said:
So do I have no say on the matter? After all, Im only the mother, she said.
Carmen, who was sitting beside her, kissed her and said:
Mom, if hes told us its because hes already decided, itll only be a matter of time before he does it.
I already know how to drive, I said quietly.
You see Mom, what did I tell you? Carmen said to my mother, I could tell.
But son, how can that be? my father asked me. You havent let me teach you.
Look Dad! I wanted to know if I would like it and if I was able to learn it, because at first it seemed really difficult. First of all, you wouldnt believe how much of a struggle it was fitting my long legs into that small space.
Look Dad! I wanted to know if I would like it and if I was able to learn it, because at first it seemed really difficult. First of all, you wouldnt believe how much of a struggle it was fitting my long legs into that small space.
Dont grow so much, Tono laughed, look what happens.
Well, its not like I wanted to grow so much, but you, youll see, its already happening to you. As you keep eating youll grow to be as big as me, or bigger, I answered.
What are you saying? Wait, are you telling me that I have to stop eating? Because Ill die in that case. You know what? Im going to keep eating and if I grow, I can take it. He fell silent and continued eating.
Okay, stop fooling around and tell me, why have you made that decision? Dont tell me its not strange, instead of studying. I see that you waste your time when youre not at home, my father was telling me, indeed quite angrily.
Listen Dad! A friend has a drivers license and now he helps his father by taking him to work, because hes had a fall and broken his ankle and his leg is in a cast and hes in no state to be driving, so my friend has had to get a drivers license and take his father wherever he needs to go.
Uh-huh, said my father, very seriously, but Ive not broken my leg, why do you need it? I believe when you cant walk, you should stay at home to rest in your armchair, because this way the broken bone will fuse back together better.
I was going to continue with my arguments, although I was not sure I could convince him, when Carmen interrupted me.
Wait, she said, Dad, look, let him get it, but on one condition.
What condition? said my father, looking at her with a stern look on his face.
That he get better grades this year and never take the car without your permission, she added.
Thats all? said my mother. He would take the car whenever he wanted. Out of the question! Im strongly against it. The car belongs to your father and only he touches it.
Hold on! said my father. Now that Im thinking about it, I dont think its a bad idea, that way when Im old he can take me for long walks.
Dad! said Chelito, you dont need a car to walk the streets.
Love, I didnt exactly say through the streets, he can take me to La Coruña or sometimes to Sanxenxo, to the beach, when Ive retired.
I see! she said, and why would you want to go to Sanxenxo alone without us?
Well, Ill explain later, said my father. Look Manu, alright, Ill let you get it, but you have to promise me youll always go slowly. I have three sons and I want to keep them for a long time.
What about us? said Chelito.
Well, youre both daughters, are you not? said my father with a smile, which I took as an indicator that the tension had passed, and I could breathe easy and start eating. I hadnt eaten anything yet, not even a spoonful of that delicious food I had on my plate, which my mother had made and which smelled so good.
Ill foot the bill! said my grandfather, who until that moment had been silent listening to us all.
You? said my grandmother in surprise, with what expenses? Keep quiet you and get on with your dinner.
Well thats going to cost a few pesetas, my grandfather added.
I sat there not knowing what to say. The truth is that I hadnt thought about that, because I was only asking for permission, but Id not decided to do it yet. I assumed they wouldnt give me their permission, at best they would say that I could get it in the future.
My mother, unable to contain herself anymore, spoke up, saying:
Have you all lost your minds? The boy comes up with some nonsense, and now you all support him. What he has to do is focus on his studies, and drop all these unnecessary flights of fancy, because if he neglects them now, what will he ask for next? And of course if we give it to him, what happens to the others? What kind of an example is he setting for his brothers and sisters?
Dont get upset Mom, said Chelito, Im not going to ask you to let me drive, its too difficult. Ive watched Dad when hes doing it, and he has to keep looking at the road for the whole time, and doing things with his hands and his feet at the same time. He cant even talk so he wont be distracted, like he always tells us.
Right! said my father, no more talk on the subject, you can get it, and you Dad, well talk about that. I dont think you should bear that expense; well see where we can get the money from.
My mother was going to protest again, but she looked at my father and continued eating, but with a scowl on her face, which made it clear that she did not agree.
<<<<< >>>>>
It was my first solo trip. I had already been on one trip behind the wheel with my father at my side. For the first one, we went to La Coruña. He had to do some paperwork and he wanted me to show him how I drove. He was very nervous, but he saw that I was good at driving defensively, well, for a rookie.
Manu, Im sure Ill get there quicker if I get out and continue on foot, he said at a certain point, trying to put on a forced smile, to disguise the tremendous nerves that were clearly plaguing him.
Dad, I dont want to rush, I answered, because I wanted to conceal my fear that he didnt like how I was driving, and he wouldnt let me do it again.
No, youre doing well, going like this were sure to get there tomorrow, but its better late than never, he answered, were not in a hurry.
What if I pressed down on the gas pedal a little more? I asked softly to see what he would say.
Well, a little bit, yes, he answered me, although it was obvious by his voice that he was still nervous. I also looked at him out of the corner of my eye, and saw that he was clutching the seat so tightly, that I thought, If he continues on like this, hes gonna break it for sure, but surely that gave him peace of mind and thats why he did it.
I was so careful on the gas pedal that it wasnt even perceptible. I was putting my foot down at times, but because my feet are so big, I was afraid that at some point, I would press on it too much and the car would go faster than it should.
You have to be more relaxed, said my father, youll end up breaking the steering wheel with how tightly youre gripping it, and stop looking in the rear-view mirror all the time, dont you see that nobody is behind you?
With my fear rising, I answered:
But if I dont look, I wont know if anyone is following us, and I cant let them pass.
Well, look at it from time to time, he added patiently.
When we were arriving in La Coruña, he told me:
Pull into the curb, carefully and then stop, but first hit the turn signal. Never forget that little detail. Thats how you warn whoever is behind you, so they can be mindful of your maneuver.
I did it and he got out of the car. I didnt know why, but he came around the vehicle to the door at my side. Opening it he said:
Son, let me do it. I dont trust the streets of the city, its more dangerous here, although I have to admit youre not doing badly at all.
I got out and changed my seat. That was my first big trip. I felt such fear! Such nerves! But I managed to take him and get there without any problems. That was the important thing. Of course I dont know how much my mother would be praying at home until she saw us appear, because she knew that I was going to be the one driving and she didnt trust me.