3. Prepare for sleepless nights. It is not easy, especially in the beginning. Just know that it will end with time. Try to take some days off, if possible, otherwise you run a risk of regularly falling asleep at your office desk, using documents and folders as pillows.
4. For these first days when a new mother is exhausted, your help with household chores will be much needed. Cleaning, cooking, washing dishes, participating in baby care be ready to help with all of this. Even if you do not usually do this, it is nice to temporarily take responsibility, letting your partner recover after birth and devote all her attention to your baby.
After some time the whole family will adapt to this new lifestyle and it will become much easier and more fun! And your beloved wife will be endlessly grateful for your help and care.
5. It is essential to give the new mom a possibility to take a break from household chores and baby care. You have no idea how much it is important for her health, and therefore the health of your baby.
If your wife refuses to leave the baby even for half an hour, do not listen to her. It is not common sense speaking, it is a mere prolactin hormone. Send her to a spa salon for a massage, and your wife will return with fresh vigor, beaming smile and tastier dinners!
A little side note for the mommies (since you are reading this chapter anyway!): trust your husband! If you left your baby with daddy for an hour, do not call every five minutes. Do not question your partners abilities! Do not check if he dressed the child correctly. Ok, so maybe your partner did not read anything about swaddling, bathing and first baby foods. Maybe you are scared when he throws your child in the air, carried away by fatherly love (it is good if ceilings in your house are high). Maybe you are worried for your baby. But just believe in your partner. He can do anything! Well, maybe apart from breastfeeding.
And for the men again
6. The first child changes everything about your relationship. However, your partner is not only the mother of your child. She is still your loved one. She needs not only your care and help but also your attention as your beloved woman. While going to the shop to buy baby food, buy some flowers or another cute little present for your wife. Among everyday routine, find time to be together. When all your day consists of feedings, changing clothes and changing diapers, women find it hard to think about the relationship with their partner on top of all that. Her only wish is to fall face down in (((the soup))) the pillow and not move. But it is still possible to find time for the two of you. In the evening, when your baby falls asleep, drink some tea together, talk about everything, make inspiring plans for the future. Have a romantic evening!
There will be very hard days when your baby cries a lot and behaves badly because of colic or teething, and everyone in the family gets exhausted. At these moments, try to support each other and keep up good spirits in the family. When your baby finally falls asleep in the evening, have some beer and a milkshake for your wife with some calming herbs, and watch a good movie.
7. Fathers of sons especially want their child to grow up as fast as possible. He cannot even crawl yet and constantly hangs on moms breast, but you already want to teach your son everything: play hockey, do push-ups, hammer nails and build spaceships. But do not rush. Enjoy every moment of your babys life, because this time will never be repeated. Time will fly so fast! Today you will teach him to do stacking rings, and tomorrow he will teach you to use the new smartphone.
I remember when our Matvey was born it was the time of the FIFA World Cup. The new father was watching matches in the nights while rocking our child. And I, the mother (thanks to this championship!), was sleeping. In the morning I took over, so we were taking turns. One year later Matvey learned to kick his first ball. Hockey is up next.
8. Some have a talent to give endless advice to all who are unable to resist. If inexperienced parents become victims of such advisers Co-sleeping or teaching the baby to sleep in his own bed since birth, breastfeeding on demand or schedule, until one or three years old Now the Internet and the books are full of a lot of advice and radically conflicting theories about a childs upbringing. New mothers easily feel at a loss and start doubting themselves. Am I doing everything right? Am I a good mother? It is hardest in the beginning because you not have enough experience yet, and the baby expresses his needs only by screaming, and you do not always understand him\her. Some men do not pay much attention to these things but new mothers sometimes find it hard to feel all this pressure from all the theories, advice and opinions of other people. Do not let anyone (not the Internet, not relatives, not your neighbor with three kids) make your partner doubt that she is the best mother for your baby and feel its needs better than anyone else. Do not doubt yourself as well! If you need advice read about it or ask someone yourself. Then you can decide what to do.
Now your head is busy dealing with all important tasks in connection with the expansion of your family. You think about the future and make plans. You feel responsible for your family because now not only your own life is in your hands. You are impatient to see the baby who is about to come into this world.
And then in an instant it will happen. You will become a father. And your life, your whole world will never be the same again.
You will be bringing up your child and celebrate all his\her first successes. You will become a role model. You will see how your baby makes the first steps in his\her life. You will hear how he\she says daddy for the first time.
This tiny newborn will be radiating so much warmth and love, so many hopes and joy and happiness for you! You will understand it all yourself when you hold your baby for the first time.
Chapter 4. Baby care
It is so amazing how our values and priorities change with the birth of a child! A long time ago I was so much into work, I cared about the political situation in our country and the best deals on plane tickets to faraway places. And then my universe suddenly collapsed to the size of 55 cm and 3870 kg. Now my main worry is not the crisis in the economy but green snot and a blocked nose. Body temperature higher than 38,5C is simply a disaster on a global scale!
And I am not alone in this. When a baby is born, many new parents have lots of questions. What to do with him\her now?, How to take care of this beautiful tiny creature?, How to protect his\her health?. Especially that this very creature will not tell you anything specific, only a-a-a in different keys. You start having a lot of duties that you did not even think about before. For example, clipping babys nails. Did you see how tiny they are? Compared to them even the smallest baby scissors will look like gardeners tools!
The following list will help you care for your baby since the first days of his life. The following pieces of advice can hardly be considered unique lifehacks. It is just some useful tips for those who became parents for the first time.
І. Caring for a newborn
1. Bathing
You can, and in fact should, bathe your baby since birth. Of course, until umbilical wound is not fully healed, do it very delicately. Try not to let any water get inside it. It is enough to use only a wet sponge, you do not need to fully submerge your baby in the water. By the way, for these first days it is better to use filtered, boiled or settled water (it is enough to let it stay for one hour).
І. Caring for a newborn
1. Bathing
You can, and in fact should, bathe your baby since birth. Of course, until umbilical wound is not fully healed, do it very delicately. Try not to let any water get inside it. It is enough to use only a wet sponge, you do not need to fully submerge your baby in the water. By the way, for these first days it is better to use filtered, boiled or settled water (it is enough to let it stay for one hour).
Some pediatricians recommend adding pre-made solution of potassium permanganate, some an herbal infusion of beggarticks. Later, when the umbilical wound heals, you can use simple tap water and bathe a baby in a big bath.
Baby soap is used in beginning only for washing the babys bottom after he makes big toilet. There is no need to bathe your baby with soap since birth. It is enough to wash the babys head one time a week.
Make sure that you support babys head and neck with your hand while bathing. It is much more comfortable to support the head with the crease of your elbow.
Water temperature should be comfortable for your baby. I am not a fan of reckless cold water training since birth. It is recommended that the water temperature for first baths should be around 3638 °С.
How to easily check the water temperature without thermometer? Dip your elbow in the water. You should feel neither too hot nor too cold. This will be the ideal temperature. Some days later you can start gradually lowering the temperature (and it will be ideal if you go down to 30 °С).
During bathing pay special attention to all skin folds. Newborn babies have very deep skin folds. They are found in armpits, groin, neck (which appears absent in beginning) and skin behind the ears. I remember that breast milk regularly trickled down behind my babys ears, so when I saw this white coating of uncertain origin behind his ears, I thought it was some skin condition.
First few months every time after bathing put on a light cotton cap on your babys head to avoid hypothermia. Do not forget to close the window in the babys room before exiting the bathroom. However, do not deliberately heat up the room, in fear that your baby will feel cold.
2. Umbilicus
It is very easy to care for the umbilical wound. After bathing you can gently dab it with a cotton ball wetted with hydrogen peroxide.
3. Nose
The tiny nose needs everyday cleaning. It is done with handmade cotton swabs that you roll from medical cotton wool. Wet it with liquid paraffin. Every nostril needs a separate small cotton swab. Gently give it a twist inside a nostril.
Remember that the most important thing for that tiny noses health (and all other body parts) is a clean humid air. That is why your first purchase for the bedroom should be the air humidifier. Wet cleaning is an important everyday ritual as well, along with nose cleaning.
4. Nails
One of my most vivid impressions right after birth was seeing my son with long nails. While pregnant I pictured his cute little face and chubby baby legs and arms. But that manicure!.. For a long time I postponed nail clipping and the first time it was done by a child doctor who came to check up on my son. Eventually, I got the hang of it and started cutting these tiny nails while breastfeeding.
By the way, some find it easier to use special baby nail clippers for that purpose, not scissors.
5. Diapers
I think we have used up tons of diapers. In the beginning I was wondering how often I should change them. It turned out that in the beginning your baby will regulate the frequency of diaper changing. More specifically, it is his\her big toilet after almost every breastfeeding session. And I should say my son was feeding on demand and with great appetite.
Many modern diapers have a special wetness indicator. I actually noticed it by the sixth month.
If you need approximate numbers, I would say that in 24 hours we were using around 810 pieces, considering that we changed it every 23 hours and were leaving the baby naked for a while. Speaking of this, try to leave your baby naked as much as possible to let his skin breathe without a diaper, when he is not sleeping. At this time, you can put your baby on his belly (knees apart, like a frog). Like this you get him\her used to lower temperatures, air the skin folds between the legs and prevent colic.
Baby powder is considered to be an essential part of baby care by many, but it can actually form pellets and cause irritation in the skin folds. It is better to use modern nappy creams if you notice any rash. If your babys skin is fine, you do not need to use any cream at all, not even as a preventive measure.
6. Infant seborrhea (cradle cap)
It is not uncommon to encounter infant seborrhea. It is yellowish patches that form on a babys head and eyebrows. It is not hard to get rid of it, but necessary. Just apply some mineral oil on these scales a couple of hours before bathing and put on a cotton cap on your babys head. After that wash the babys head thoroughly with the baby shampoo and gently brush the hair with a soft hairbrush. Two or three days of such procedures, and the seborrhea will disappear.
I remember that once, in this fight with cradle cap, I applied mineral oil to Matveys head. But my son did not wait for his evening bath and suddenly fell asleep. With mineral oil in his hair. I asked my husband: So what do we do now? Without a word, he brought a bowl of warm water and a sponge. Together, sitting in a dark room, we were washing our sleeping sons head. Matvey was peacefully asleep during the whole procedure and did not even make a sound.
ІІ. Babys health
Most people are born healthy,
It is the doctors who make them ill
О. Е. Komarovsky, famous Ukrainian pediatrician
I am not a doctor, so here you will not find advice on how to cure baby illnesses. However, like any normal mother, I gathered a lot of useful information about how to keep a baby healthy. I will be happy if you also find it useful. So here it goes, my personal list of advice.
1. In some countries it is possible to call a doctor for advice but it may involve extra costs. If you have such an opportunity, find a good pediatrician and take their telephone number. Phone consultation can help in many situations when you need to start treatment as soon as possible, without losing time, and it will save new mommys nerves.
2. Fresh air is an essential condition for child (and adult) health. Maybe it is the most common advice in this book, but do not underestimate its importance. Go for a walk! Every walk is not just circling the park. It is an everyday additional plus for your childs health. For this reason alone, it is worth it to take out that baby carriage even if there are no ramps in your house.
When you are at home, also let some fresh air into your house. Air the rooms as often as possible. Open all windows for ventilation when you go for a walk. If you stay home, you can carry your baby from one room to another, airing each room in turn. Do not be afraid of open windows, especially in the summer.
3. Air humidifier is an essential device in the house with children. Humid air is important for the sensitive baby skin and respiratory organs. In winter sometimes it is not enough to only turn on your air humidifier. Additionally, you can put wet towels on radiators.