Ah, how I would like to make friends with your boy! he cried. If you could arrange it
Certainly, sir, muttered the captain.
But now listen to something quite different! Alyosha went on. I have a message for you. That same brother of mine, Dmitri, has insulted his betrothed, too, a noblehearted girl of whom you have probably heard. I have a right to tell you of her wrong; I ought to do so, in fact, for hearing of the insult done to you and learning all about your unfortunate position, she commissioned me at oncejust nowto bring you this help from herbut only from her alone, not from Dmitri, who has abandoned her. Nor from me, his brother, nor from any one else, but from her, only from her! She entreats you to accept her help. You have both been insulted by the same man. She thought of you only when she had just received a similar insult from himsimilar in its cruelty, I mean. She comes like a sister to help a brother in misfortune. She told me to persuade you to take these two hundred roubles from her, as from a sister, knowing that you are in such need. No one will know of it, it can give rise to no unjust slander. There are the two hundred roubles, and I swear you must take them unlessunless all men are to be enemies on earth! But there are brothers even on earth. You have a generous heart you must see that, you must, and Alyosha held out two new rainbowcolored hundredrouble notes.
They were both standing at the time by the great stone close to the fence, and there was no one near. The notes seemed to produce a tremendous impression on the captain. He started, but at first only from astonishment. Such an outcome of their conversation was the last thing he expected. Nothing could have been farther from his dreams than help from any oneand such a sum!
He took the notes, and for a minute he was almost unable to answer, quite a new expression came into his face.
That for me? So much moneytwo hundred roubles! Good heavens! Why, I havent seen so much money for the last four years! Mercy on us! And she says she is a sister. And is that the truth?
I swear that all I told you is the truth, cried Alyosha.
The captain flushed red.
Listen, my dear, listen. If I take it, I shant be behaving like a scoundrel? In your eyes, Alexey Fyodorovitch, I shant be a scoundrel? No, Alexey Fyodorovitch, listen, listen, he hurried, touching Alyosha with both his hands. You are persuading me to take it, saying that its a sister sends it, but inwardly, in your heart wont you feel contempt for me if I take it, eh?
No, no, on my salvation I swear I shant! And no one will ever know but meI, you and she, and one other lady, her great friend.
Never mind the lady! Listen, Alexey Fyodorovitch, at a moment like this you must listen, for you cant understand what these two hundred roubles mean to me now. The poor fellow went on rising gradually into a sort of incoherent, almost wild enthusiasm. He was thrown off his balance and talked extremely fast, as though afraid he would not be allowed to say all he had to say.
Besides its being honestly acquired from a sister, so highly respected and revered, do you know that now I can look after mamma and Nina, my hunchback angel daughter? Doctor Herzenstube came to me in the kindness of his heart and was examining them both for a whole hour. I can make nothing of it, said he, but he prescribed a mineral water which is kept at a chemists here. He said it would be sure to do her good, and he ordered baths, too, with some medicine in them. The mineral water costs thirty copecks, and shed need to drink forty bottles perhaps; so I took the prescription and laid it on the shelf under the ikons, and there it lies. And he ordered hot baths for Nina with something dissolved in them, morning and evening. But how can we carry out such a cure in our mansion, without servants, without help, without a bath, and without water? Nina is rheumatic all over, I dont think I told you that. All her right side aches at night, she is in agony, and, would you believe it, the angel bears it without groaning for fear of waking us. We eat what we can get, and shell only take the leavings, what youd scarcely give to a dog. I am not worth it, I am taking it from you, I am a burden on you, thats what her angel eyes try to express. We wait on her, but she doesnt like it. I am a useless cripple, no good to any one. As though she were not worth it, when she is the saving of all of us with her angelic sweetness. Without her, without her gentle word it would be hell among us! She softens even Varvara. And dont judge Varvara harshly either, she is an angel too, she, too, has suffered wrong. She came to us for the summer, and she brought sixteen roubles she had earned by lessons and saved up, to go back with to Petersburg in September, that is now. But we took her money and lived on it, so now she has nothing to go back with. Though indeed she couldnt go back, for she has to work for us like a slave. She is like an overdriven horse with all of us on her back. She waits on us all, mends and washes, sweeps the floor, puts mamma to bed. And mamma is capricious and tearful and insane! And now I can get a servant with this money, you understand, Alexey Fyodorovitch, I can get medicines for the dear creatures, I can send my student to Petersburg, I can buy beef, I can feed them properly. Good Lord, but its a dream!
Alyosha was delighted that he had brought him such happiness and that the poor fellow had consented to be made happy.
Stay, Alexey Fyodorovitch, stay, the captain began to talk with frenzied rapidity, carried away by a new daydream. Do you know that Ilusha and I will perhaps really carry out our dream. We will buy a horse and cart, a black horse, he insists on its being black, and we will set off as we pretended the other day. I have an old friend, a lawyer in K. province, and I heard through a trustworthy man that if I were to go hed give me a place as clerk in his office, so, who knows, maybe he would. So Id just put mamma and Nina in the cart, and Ilusha could drive, and Id walk, Id walk. Why, if I only succeed in getting one debt paid thats owing me, I should have perhaps enough for that too!
There would be enough! cried Alyosha. Katerina Ivanovna will send you as much more as you need, and you know, I have money too, take what you want, as you would from a brother, from a friend, you can give it back later. (Youll get rich, youll get rich!) And you know you couldnt have a better idea than to move to another province! It would be the saving of you, especially of your boyand you ought to go quickly, before the winter, before the cold. You must write to us when you are there, and we will always be brothers. No, its not a dream!
Alyosha could have hugged him, he was so pleased. But glancing at him he stopped short. The man was standing with his neck outstretched and his lips protruding, with a pale and frenzied face. His lips were moving as though trying to articulate something; no sound came, but still his lips moved. It was uncanny.
What is it? asked Alyosha, startled.
Alexey Fyodorovitch I you, muttered the captain, faltering, looking at him with a strange, wild, fixed stare, and an air of desperate resolution. At the same time there was a sort of grin on his lips. I you, sir wouldnt you like me to show you a little trick I know? he murmured, suddenly, in a firm rapid whisper, his voice no longer faltering.
What trick?
A pretty trick, whispered the captain. His mouth was twisted on the left side, his left eye was screwed up. He still stared at Alyosha.
What is the matter? What trick? Alyosha cried, now thoroughly alarmed.
Why, look, squealed the captain suddenly, and showing him the two notes which he had been holding by one corner between his thumb and forefinger during the conversation, he crumpled them up savagely and squeezed them tight in his right hand. Do you see, do you see? he shrieked, pale and infuriated. And suddenly flinging up his hand, he threw the crumpled notes on the sand. Do you see? he shrieked again, pointing to them. Look there!
And with wild fury he began trampling them under his heel, gasping and exclaiming as he did so:
So much for your money! So much for your money! So much for your money! So much for your money!
Suddenly he darted back and drew himself up before Alyosha, and his whole figure expressed unutterable pride.
Tell those who sent you that the wisp of tow does not sell his honor, he cried, raising his arm in the air. Then he turned quickly and began to run; but he had not run five steps before he turned completely round and kissed his hand to Alyosha. He ran another five paces and then turned round for the last time. This time his face was not contorted with laughter, but quivering all over with tears. In a tearful, faltering, sobbing voice he cried:
What should I say to my boy if I took money from you for our shame?
And then he ran on without turning. Alyosha looked after him, inexpressibly grieved. Oh, he saw that till the very last moment the man had not known he would crumple up and fling away the notes. He did not turn back. Alyosha knew he would not. He would not follow him and call him back, he knew why. When he was out of sight, Alyosha picked up the two notes. They were very much crushed and crumpled, and had been pressed into the sand, but were uninjured and even rustled like new ones when Alyosha unfolded them and smoothed them out. After smoothing them out, he folded them up, put them in his pocket and went to Katerina Ivanovna to report on the success of her commission.
[3] Grushenka.
Book V:
Pro and Contra
Chapter I.
The Engagement
Madame Hohlakov was again the first to meet Alyosha. She was flustered; something important had happened. Katerina Ivanovnas hysterics had ended in a fainting fit, and then a terrible, awful weakness had followed, she lay with her eyes turned up and was delirious. Now she was in a fever. They had sent for Herzenstube; they had sent for the aunts. The aunts were already here, but Herzenstube had not yet come. They were all sitting in her room, waiting. She was unconscious now, and what if it turned to brain fever!
Madame Hohlakov looked gravely alarmed. This is serious, serious, she added at every word, as though nothing that had happened to her before had been serious. Alyosha listened with distress, and was beginning to describe his adventures, but she interrupted him at the first words. She had not time to listen. She begged him to sit with Lise and wait for her there.