I think so, too. I hate to sound like a big brother, but Im proud of you. Cory coughed and took a swallow of beer-a ploy Matt was familiar with, had used himself a time or two-then frowned at the can in his hand. But theres more to life than a career. Trust me-this I know from personal experience.
It was an opportunity, and Matt jumped on it with great relief. Leaned forward, grinning, and said, Speaking of which, I havent heard about yours, yet. Youre married, I know that much. Your wifes name is Samantha, right? So, tell me about her.
This time his brothers smile was different, somehow, as if somebody had lit a whole bunch of candles behind it. Youll meet her yourself, soon enough. Shes flying out tomorrow.
No kidding? Hey, thats great. No kids, though, Im guessing?
The candlepower went just a shade dimmer. Not yet. Sams been busy with her career-shes a pilot, did Wade tell you?-and then weve both been occupied with this search. Still two missing, you know. The twins-the little girls are out there, somewhere. Were not ready to give up just yet.
He took off his glasses, frowned at them, then shifted those deep, dark, see-everything eyes back to Matt. What about you? You broke things off with Alex, sowhat now? Do you have anybody special in your life? Do you plan to get married someday, have kids of your own? Im assuming everythings
Matt jumped in with a cough and a hurried, Oh, yeah. Everythings fine. Works justfine. You know And after an awkward pause, Id like to find somebody, sure. From out of the past a pair of hazel eyes fringed with black swam into his mind and gazed at him accusingly. You found her, you idiot. And you were too stupid to know it.
His consciousness protested. Hey, I wasnt the stupid one.
You could have changed her mind if youd tried hard enough.
I would have. I meant to. I thought I had time
Corys voice broke into his inner debate. You and Alex
Whatever we were, Matt said evenly, its history.
Thatsnot the impression I got from her.
Matt jerked away from the table, needing a physical outlet for the anger that spasmed through him. Look-you dontYou have to know her. He gave a short, hard laugh as he wheeled into the kitchen and lobbed his empty beer can into the sink, liking the clatter it made. Shes got some issues, believe me.
His brothers mild tone told him he wasnt impressed by the display. So, tell me about her.
Sams Hey was mumbled and sleepy, and Cory closed his eyes in contrition.
I woke you. Im sorry. I didnt think about the time difference.
Nono, sokay. He could hear rustlings, and for a moment, knowing she preferred to sleep nude, enjoyed the mental picture of his wife getting herself propped up on pillows and the sheet pulled up across her breasts. Tell me. Youve seen him? Talked to him?
Just came from having dinner with him. He fixed us hamburgers.
Umm. Yum.
Sam, I wish you could have seen him. He coaches a bunch of teenagers with SCIs. Have you ever heard of Murderball?
I have, actually. Well, gee, Pearse, what did you expect? Hes your brother. So, how is he? I mean, you know, about
Being paralyzed? He seems to have adjusted very well. Ask me how it was seeing him like that.
Okay.
In a word, awful. I kept thinking I could have changed things if Idyou know. That he wouldnt be in that chair if Id been there for him.
Pearse-
I know, I know. He already told me what he thought of that notion. There is something Id like to do for him though. This is something I think I might be able to fix. And maybe itll help with these guilt feelings
Okay, tell me. Can I help?
I think so, yes. Youre still coming tomorrow, right?
Right. Hitched a ride with the U.S. Navy. Leaving at O-six hundred. Youre picking me up at Edwards, right?
You bet. Cory let out a breath. Im going to take Matt back to the mountains, Sam. Hes adjusted okay in most ways, buthed never admit it, but I think hes lonely. Hed like someone-a wife, kids-but I dont think hes ever going to be able to find anyone as long as hes got this unresolved thing for Alex Penny. His ex-partner. Im positive hes still got feelings for her, and its a big hurting empty inside him.
He listened to some more rustlings, and then, Darlin, I know you want to help your brother, but meddlin in his love life? I dont know about thatDo you think taking him back to the life he used to have is such a good idea? Seems like that could be pretty hard.
Oh, yeah. He admitted that. He said it was the reason he chose not to go back. But I think theres more to him not going back than not wanting to face his old life. Hes got more guts than that. He paused. I think hed have gone back if shed asked him to.
Well, why didnt she? Maybe she doesnt have the same feelings he does.
Thats just it-I think she does. Sam, shes still hurt and angry after five years. That doesnt come from nothing.
True. He heard a swallowed yawn. Then why? Is she just proud? Stubborn? What?
Mmm, I dont know. Some, maybe. But Matt told me some things about her that might help to explain why she didnt ask him to stay. Apparently she grew up in a trailer park in a little town on the Mojave Desert. Single mom, father deserted her mother as soon as he found out she was pregnant. Mom was bitter but tough, and raised her daughter to fend for herself, be self-sufficient, not depend on anybody but herself, and especially not a man. She died of cancer about the time Alex met Matt.
Oh boy.
Yeah. Add to that the fact that Matts got his pride, too, and hes trying to prove to himself he can make it on his own, doesnt want pity, doesnt want charity, so the only way hes going to stay on the river is if his partner convinces him she really wants and needs him.
Which goes against the whole mind-set she was raised with. So, how do we go about fixing this?
I told you. Were going to take him back to the river. I want to book us a rafting trip-you, me and Matt. They do trips with all sorts of disabled people, so I know its doable. Then, once we get him there, we let nature take its course. Ill butt out, I promise.
Oh boy.
Yeah. Add to that the fact that Matts got his pride, too, and hes trying to prove to himself he can make it on his own, doesnt want pity, doesnt want charity, so the only way hes going to stay on the river is if his partner convinces him she really wants and needs him.
Which goes against the whole mind-set she was raised with. So, how do we go about fixing this?
I told you. Were going to take him back to the river. I want to book us a rafting trip-you, me and Matt. They do trips with all sorts of disabled people, so I know its doable. Then, once we get him there, we let nature take its course. Ill butt out, I promise.
Okay, Sam said, softly laughing, obviously not believing that for a minute. Thats finebut how do you intend to convince this little brother of yours to go along with your plan? From the sound of things, hes got a mind of his own.
Ill put it to him in the one way he wont be able to refuse, Cory said, letting his smile into his voice. Hes a bit of a daredevil. So, I plan to dare him.
No way, Alex said. Not in a million years. Out of the question.
You go, girl, Eve said, clinking beer bottles with her across the remains of their burgers and fries.
Thats what Im gonna tell him, too. First thing tomorrow. Alex took a chug from the bottle, then lowered it and demanded of Booker T, who was gazing at her from under his beetling white eyebrows and shaking his head, What? You dont think I wont? Eves right. Why in the hell should I let my paraplegic ex-partner book a tour with me when he friggin deserted me? Didnt even have the guts to come back here and help me run this damn outfit? Who needs that? Who needs him?
This time Eves Hear! Hear! was echoed enthusiastically by Bobby and Ken and a couple of the other river guides who were obviously a beer or two up on the rest of the crew. Randy, the photographer, who had his mouth full, gave a thumbs-up gesture. Linda, Booker Ts wife, who also manned the Rafting Centers store and was too kind and sweet to say a bad word against anybody, just smiled and shook her head. Booker T scraped back his chair and stood up.
We got boatin to do tomorrow, people, he announced to a chorus of boos, which he ignored. Time to be headin on home. Cmon, sweet pea. He pulled out Lindas chair for her and offered her a hand with a gesture like an old-time gentleman, which he did sort of resemble with his sweeping handlebar mustache with its waxed and curled-up ends. Then he gestured at Alex. You, too, baby doll. Morning comes early.
Ah, hell, BookerT, were just getting warmed up. The night is young! And as far as Alex was concerned, home was the last place she wanted to be. Home was quiet, and empty. She wanted music and noise and a few more beers. Hopefully enough to block out the memories.
Evidently Booker T could read her mind, because he shook his head and said, Come on-well drop you off home, as he took her by the shoulders and guided her up out of her chair. His touch was gentle, and although Alex could have resisted it, she didnt. It was a mystery to her why, but Booker T was the only human being on the planet shed let boss her around like that.
So, she laughed and hollered her goodbyes and Booker T hooked one arm around her waist and the other around Lindas, and he danced them both out the door of The Corral with a Texas Two-Step to the Billy Ray Cyrus song that was playing on the jukebox. By the time they got to the parking lot, they were all singing along with Billy Ray at the top of their lungs, having a good time. Alex thought it would be a fun idea to ride in the back of Booker Ts king cab Chevy truck and keep right on singing all the way-the whole half mile-to her house, but Booker T somehow managed to maneuver her into the backseat instead, where she had to sit on some coiled-up rope and leather gloves and a bunch of other stuff she couldnt even begin to guess the nature of.
Booker T slammed the door on her complaining and got into the drivers seat while Linda climbed in beside him. He started up the truck and pulled out of the parking lot, and Alex scooted forward and put her folded arms on the back of his seat.
Booker T?
Yeah, baby doll?
Im tellin him tomorrow. I mean it. No way am I booking Matt Callahan for a tour. Huh-uh.
And whys that?
Wellhell, isnt it obvious? I mean, hes a-
Cripple?
The word stabbed into Alex like a thorn, and she sucked in a shocked breath because shed never thought Booker T would say such a thing. Something so mean. But its what you were thinking.