Oh, but he did, though. He probably remembered every moment of that last night together, every word spoken. The things hed said to her-gently, hed thought at the time. Calmly. Rationally. Explaining to her that he wasnt getting any younger, andoh, all the other things hed just told Tony, and how patient hed been, waiting for her all through college and flight school, and as much as he loved her and always would, how long did she expect him to wait for her to grow up?
Oh, boy. Hed realized the moment those words were out of his mouth they might not have been the best choice. Plus, no matter how gently hed phrased it, what hed done was force her to make a choice between him and the career she loved, and Sam never had taken well to ultimatums. He remembered, could feel it still, the sick, sinking feeling in his stomach when he saw her eyes harden to cold, dark fury. He felt chilled even now, remembering the implacability in her voice as shed replied.
Then dont, she says. Dont wait for me anymore.
Just that; Sam never has been a great one for words.
As I watch her walk away from me down a rain-slicked Georgetown street, part of me-a long-buried, almost-forgotten part-is howling in pain and anguish like an abandoned child, all set to hurl myself after her and beg her to forgive me, forget everything Ive said, that I will wait for her forever if thats what it takes to keep her in my life.
But another part of me, the adult part that has governed me since I was nine years old, is already deadened to the paingrowing numb with acceptance that this is for the best. And already growing used to the idea that the woman Ive considered the love of my life for so long, I must henceforth remember as the one who got away
Uh-oh, Tony said. Speak of the devil. Uhnot that I think sheswell, you know what I mean. Look who just walked in. He hauled his beer close and subsided, looking vaguely ashamed, while Cory shot a quick guilty look toward the bars entrance.
In keeping with the hotels tropical hideaway theme-which meant many of the guest rooms, including his, were on stilts, right at the waters edge-the bars ambiance was lush and exotic. Reminded Cory of the old Tiki Room at Disneyland, which he recalled visiting once during his college days. Here, though, the plants and flowers were real, and the sounds of trickling water came from miniature waterfalls that cascaded invisibly through the greenery. Instead of the clacking of animated birds, the background music emanating from hidden speakers was muted, exotic and unfamiliar.
The entrance was a small elevated landing flanked by stands of bamboo that leaned inward toward each other to form a doorway arch, illuminated by a soft mellow spotlight. It was like a small stage, and dead in the middle of it stood Sam, looking as though she belonged there, her head held high in that almost arrogant way she had, her short blond hair shining like sunshine, spiked and curling slightly with the damp.
His heart slammed against his ribs, but all he said was, I see her.
No cargo pants and baseball cap tonight. She wore a wrap skirt in tropical splashes of orange and peach and red that hit her a couple of inches above the knee and set off the soft golden tones of her skin, and a yellow knit tank top that clung to her small firm breasts and slender waist like the hide of an exotic animal. She looked confident and at ease, there in the light, her long, naturally lean body relaxed, but seeming to vibrate with strength and energy held in reserve.
So does every male in the room-every one thats got a pulse, Tony muttered out of the side of his mouth. Man, I only wanna know one thing. How in the helld you ever let a woman like that get away?
Cory winced. The question was too close to what hed been thinking to himself a moment ago. He said in a voice gone unexpectedly guttural, Like I said, I tried my best. She had other ideas. He took a swallow of beer that seared his throat.
Think shes looking for us? Hey-shes looking this way.
No-dont- But it was too late. Tony had already lifted his beer glass and was gesturing with it in a welcoming way.
Hey-Captain-over here.
With his pulse a hollow tom-tom beat in his belly, Cory watched Sam give Tony a little smile and a nod, pause briefly to speak to the white-jacketed host who had rushed over to greet her, then make her way unhurriedly through the maze of rattan tables.
As she walked among the tables, it occurred to Sam that her legs felt rather odd. Not weak-shed never say weak-butas though they werent all that well strung together, put it that way.
Oh, Lord, its still there. All these years later, and its as bad as ever. Like one of those tropical diseases, she thought, that pop out every now and then even when you think youre over it. Like malaria.
She tried hard to keep her eyes on the bald guy, the photographer-Tony, thats it. She kept her eyes and her smile focused on him and tried not to look at Cory, but how could she help but see him sitting there? Sort of leaning back in his chair, relaxed as always, wearing a loose-fitting long-sleeved shirt in some kind of coarse, rugged material softened and faded by long wear and many washings.
Hed be watching her, she knew, with his lips slightly curved, eyes dark and intent behind the rimless glasses he always wore. It was the attitude that made him such a successful reporter, that way he had of making a person feel they were the most fascinating and important person in the world, that nothing mattered more than what they had to tell him.
It would only occur to them a long time afterward that theyd spilled their guts to him, told him their deepest, darkest secretsand that they knew absolutely nothing about him.
Hey, she said by way of a greeting, in the manner of the deep South in which shed been born and mostly raised. She slid into the chair Tony had gallantly shoved out for her with his foot.
After risking a glance at Cory, who raised his beer glass a fraction of an inch, tilted it toward her and gave her his enigmatic little half smile, she turned the brightest one she could come up with on Tony.
And found he was already signaling a waiter. Hey-can we get another one of these over here?
She started to shake her head, but before she could get a word out herself, she heard, Sam doesnt like beer, in the quiet, deep voice that always made something thrum beneath her breastbone, like bass synthesizers thumping in the distance. Shes got a sweet tooth. Rum and Cokes her drink. Right, Sam? She swiveled her head toward him, braced for that first contact with his penetrating blue gaze. At least, it used to be.
Still is, she said lightly, and although it nearly killed her to do it while her teeth were clenched, nodded and smiled at the hovering waiter. We have too much to deal with tonight, she told herself. Silly to start with a fight over something so trivial.
Hey, Captain, youre looking mighty fine tonight. Tony was smiling at her in a way that, though blatantly flirting, still managed to be unexpectedly charming.
The man definitely has charisma, Sam thought with regret. What a pity it was wasted on her. What a relief it would be to enjoy something so simple, so painless, as pure, uncomplicated sexual attraction.
Thanks, she said, smiling at him as she shook herself back in her chair. I do like to change out of my khakis now and then. Showeryou know-get rid of the hat-hair.
You used to wear it longer.
The casual words stung her nerves like wasps. She looked at Cory and-no great surprise-found him staring at her, although something in his eyes
Dont like to drink and run Tony abruptly shoved back his chair, making her jump. For those few seconds shed forgotten his existence.
Dont rush off. She said it automatically, in the time-honored Southern way, and Cory echoed, Dont you want to eat something?
Already in the process of taking his wallet from a back pocket, Tony took out some bills and put them on the table, saying as he did so, Naw, Ill just order something from room service. Ive got things to see to-want to sort out my equipment, make sure Ive got everything Im gonna need-you know. His settling-up completed, he flicked her a smile. What time we figuring on taking off in the morning, Capn?
Sam dipped a nod at Cory. Thats up to you guys. Youre the paying customers.
Cory coughed and shifted forward in his chair. My instructions are to go to the rendezvous point and wait to be contacted. His lips tilted without smiling. Im not sure what that means, but Im envisioning unknown numbers of heavily armed men wearing black hoods emerging from the bushes. So I doubt the timing is all that critical. That said, Id like to get to the spot with as much daylight ahead of us as possible.
Sam dipped her head again. No problem. We take off at daybreak, then. She looked at Cory. You got maps, I assume?
In my room.
Ill need to see those. Ill be filing my flight plan before we leave in the morning.
Cory nodded. Of course.
Okay, Ill be sayin good night, then. Tony winked at Sam, gave Cory a little one-finger salute and left, dodging around the waiter who was just arriving with Sams drink.
You having another? she asked Cory. He glanced up at the hovering waiter, shook his head and politely lifted a declining hand.
The waiter went away. Sam took a sip of her rum and Coke. Through a strange buzzing in her ears she heard Corys quiet voice say, What about you? Want something to eat?
Are you kidding? The way my stomach feels, if I ate anything itd probably erupt like Mount Vesuvius. Thats what she wanted to say. What she did say was, No, thanks. Im not all that hungry.
She took another sip of her drink. Not looking at him. Not wanting to look at him. Knowing she had to. Not to look at him was stupid. Childish. Sooner or later, with Cory it always seemed to come down to that, didnt it?
So, she shook back her hair and lifted her head and looked straight at him. And found him looking back at her-of course he was, what had she expected? They looked at each other, neither saying anything, and Sam felt her face grow achy and stiff, and a horrible and unexpected desire to cry begin to gather behind her eyes.
To head it off, she gave up a bubble of husky laughter. Okay, this is awkward.