Chance and good luck often correct our mistakes; of this I had a
singular instance soon after, when, in the depth of a forest, I saw a
wild pig and sow running close behind each other. My ball had missed
them, yet the foremost pig only ran away, and the sow stood motionless,
as fixed to the ground. On examining into the matter, I found the latter
one to be an old sow, blind with age, which had taken hold of her pig’s
tail, in order to be led along by filial duty. My ball, having passed
between the two, had cut his leading-string, which the old sow continued
to hold in her mouth; and as her former guide did not draw her on
any longer, she had stopped of course; I therefore laid hold of the
remaining end of the pig’s tail, and led the old beast home without any
further trouble on my part, and without any reluctance or apprehension
on the part of the helpless old animal.
Terrible as these wild sows are, yet more fierce and dangerous are
the boars, one of which I had once the misfortune to meet in a forest,
unprepared for attack or defence. I retired behind an oak-tree just when
the furious animal levelled a side-blow at me, with such force, that his
tusks pierced through the tree, by which means he could neither repeat
the blow nor retire. Ho, ho! thought I, I shall soon have you now! and
immediately I laid hold of a stone, wherewith I hammered and bent his
tusks in such a manner, that he could not retreat by any means, and must
wait my return from the next village, whither I went for ropes and a
cart, to secure him properly, and to carry him off safe and alive, in
which I perfectly succeeded.
CHAPTER IV
_Reflections on Saint Hubert’s stag – Shoots a stag with cherry-stones;
the wonderful effects of it – Kills a bear by extraordinary dexterity;
his danger pathetically described – Attacked by a wolf, which he turns
inside out – Is assailed by a mad dog, from which he escapes – The Baron’s
cloak seized with madness, by which his whole wardrobe is thrown into
confusion._
You have heard, I dare say, of the hunter and sportsman’s saint and
protector, St. Hubert, and of the noble stag, which appeared to him
in the forest, with the holy cross between his antlers. I have paid my
homage to that saint every year in good fellowship, and seen this stag a
thousand times, either painted in churches, or embroidered in the
stars of his knights; so that, upon the honour and conscience of a good
sportsman, I hardly know whether there may not have been formerly, or
whether there are not such crossed stags even at this present day. But
let me rather tell what I have seen myself. Having one day spent all my
shot, I found myself unexpectedly in presence of a stately stag, looking
at me as unconcernedly as if he had known of my empty pouches. I charged
immediately with powder, and upon it a good handful of cherry-stones,
for I had sucked the fruit as far as the hurry would permit. Thus I let
fly at him, and hit him just on the middle of the forehead, between his
antlers; it stunned him – he staggered – yet he made off. A year or two
after, being with a party in the same forest, I beheld a noble stag with
a fine full grown cherry-tree above ten feet high between his antlers.
I immediately recollected my former adventure, looked upon him as my
property, and brought him to the ground by one shot, which at once
gave me the haunch and cherry-sauce; for the tree was covered with the
richest fruit, the like I had never tasted before. Who knows but some
passionate holy sportsman, or sporting abbot or bishop, may have shot,
planted, and fixed the cross between the antlers of St. Hubert’s stag,
in a manner similar to this? They always have been, and still are,
famous for plantations of crosses and antlers; and in a case of distress
or dilemma, which too often happens to keen sportsmen, one is apt to
grasp at anything for safety, and to try any expedient rather than
miss the favourable opportunity. I have many times found myself in that
trying situation.
What do you say of this, for example? Daylight and powder were spent one
day in a Polish forest. When I was going home a terrible bear made up
to me in great speed, with open mouth, ready to fall upon me; all my
pockets were searched in an instant for powder and ball, but in vain; I
found nothing but two spare flints: one I flung with all my might into
the monster’s open jaws, down his throat. It gave him pain and made him
turn about, so that I could level the second at his back-door, which,
indeed, I did with wonderful success; for it flew in, met the first
flint in the stomach, struck fire, and blew up the bear with a terrible
explosion. Though I came safe off that time, yet I should not wish to
try it again, or venture against bears with no other ammunition.
There is a kind of fatality in it. The fiercest and most dangerous
animals generally came upon me when defenceless, as if they had a notion
or an instinctive intimation of it. Thus a frightful wolf rushed upon me
so suddenly, and so close, that I could do nothing but follow mechanical
instinct, and thrust my fist into his open mouth. For safety’s sake
I pushed on and on, till my arm was fairly in up to the shoulder.
How should I disengage myself? I was not much pleased with my awkward
situation – with a wolf face to face; our ogling was not of the most
pleasant kind. If I withdrew my arm, then the animal would fly the more
furiously upon me; that I saw in his flaming eyes. In short, I laid hold
of his tail, turned him inside out like a glove, and flung him to the
ground, where I left him.
The same expedient would not have answered against a mad dog, which soon
after came running against me in a narrow street at St. Petersburg. Run
who can, I thought; and to do this the better, I threw off my fur cloak,
and was safe within doors in an instant. I sent my servant for the
cloak, and he put it in the wardrobe with my other clothes. The day
after I was amazed and frightened by Jack’s bawling, «For God’s sake,
sir, your fur cloak is mad!» I hastened up to him, and found almost all
my clothes tossed about and torn to pieces. The fellow was perfectly
right in his apprehensions about the fur cloak’s madness. I saw him
myself just then falling upon a fine full-dress suit, which he shook and
tossed in an unmerciful manner.
CHAPTER V
_The effects of great activity and presence of mind – A favourite hound
described, which pups while pursuing a hare; the hare also litters while
pursued by the hound – Presented with a famous horse by Count Przobossky,
with which he performs many extraordinary feats._
All these narrow and lucky escapes, gentlemen, were chances turned
to advantage by presence of mind and vigorous exertions, which, taken
together, as everybody knows, make the fortunate sportsman, sailor,
and soldier; but he would be a very blamable and imprudent sportsman,
admiral, or general, who would always depend upon chance and his stars,
without troubling himself about those arts which are their particular
pursuits, and without providing the very best implements, which insure
success. I was not blamable either way; for I have always been as
remarkable for the excellency of my horses, dogs, guns, and swords, as
for the proper manner of using and managing them, so that upon the whole
I may hope to be remembered in the forest, upon the turf, and in the
field. I shall not enter here into any detail of my stables, kennel, or
armoury; but a favourite bitch of mine I cannot help mentioning to you;
she was a greyhound, and I never had or saw a better. She grew old in
my service, and was not remarkable for her size, but rather for her
uncommon swiftness. I always coursed with her. Had you seen her you must
have admired her, and would not have wondered at my predilection, and
at my coursing her so much. She ran so fast, so much, and so long in my
service, that she actually ran off her legs; so that, in the latter part
of her life, I was under the necessity of working and using her only as
a terrier, in which quality she still served me many years.
Coursing one day a hare, which appeared to me uncommonly big, I pitied
my poor bitch, being big with pups, yet she would course as fast as
ever. I could follow her on horseback only at a great distance. At once
I heard a cry as it were of a pack of hounds – but so weak and faint
that I hardly knew what to make of it. Coming up to them, I was greatly
surprised. The hare had littered in running; the same had happened to
my bitch in coursing, and there were just as many leverets as pups. By
instinct the former ran, the latter coursed: and thus I found myself
in possession at once of six hares, and as many dogs, at the end of a
course which had only begun with one.
I remember this, my wonderful bitch, with the same pleasure and
tenderness as a superb Lithuanian horse, which no money could have
bought. He became mine by an accident, which gave me an opportunity
of showing my horsemanship to a great advantage. I was at Count
Przobossky’s noble country-seat in Lithuania, and remained with the
ladies at tea in the drawing-room, while the gentlemen were down in
the yard, to see a young horse of blood which had just arrived from the
stud. We suddenly heard a noise of distress; I hastened down-stairs, and
found the horse so unruly, that nobody durst approach or mount him.
The most resolute horsemen stood dismayed and aghast; despondency was
expressed in every countenance, when, in one leap, I was on his back,
took him by surprise, and worked him quite into gentleness and obedience
with the best display of horsemanship I was master of. Fully to show
this to the ladies, and save them unnecessary trouble, I forced him to
leap in at one of the open windows of the tea-room, walked round several
times, pace, trot, and gallop, and at last made him mount the tea-table,
there to repeat his lessons in a pretty style of miniature which was
exceedingly pleasing to the ladies, for he performed them amazingly
well, and did not break either cup or saucer. It placed me so high in
their opinion, and so well in that of the noble lord, that, with his
usual politeness, he begged I would accept of this young horse, and
ride him full career to conquest and honour in the campaign against the
Turks, which was soon to be opened, under the command of Count Munich.
I could not indeed have received a more agreeable present, nor a
more ominous one at the opening of that campaign, in which I made my
apprenticeship as a soldier. A horse so gentle, so spirited, and so
fierce – at once a lamb and a Bucephalus, put me always in mind of the
soldier’s and the gentleman’s duty! of young Alexander, and of the
astonishing things he performed in the field.
We took the field, among several other reasons, it seems, with an
intention to retrieve the character of the Russian arms, which had been
blemished a little by Czar Peter’s last campaign on the Pruth; and this
we fully accomplished by several very fatiguing and glorious campaigns
under the command of that great general I mentioned before.
Modesty forbids individuals to arrogate to themselves great successes
or victories, the glory of which is generally engrossed by the
commander – nay, which is rather awkward, by kings and queens who never
smelt gunpowder but at the field-days and reviews of their troops; never
saw a field of battle, or an enemy in battle array.
Nor do I claim any particular share of glory in the great engagements
with the enemy. We all did our duty, which, in the patriot’s, soldier’s,
and gentleman’s language, is a very comprehensive word, of great honour,
meaning, and import, and of which the generality of idle quidnuncs
and coffee-house politicians can hardly form any but a very mean and
contemptible idea. However, having had the command of a body of hussars,
I went upon several expeditions, with discretionary powers; and the
success I then met with is, I think, fairly and only to be placed to my
account, and to that of the brave fellows whom I led on to conquest and
to victory. We had very hot work once in the van of the army, when we
drove the Turks into Oczakow. My spirited Lithuanian had almost brought
me into a scrape: I had an advanced fore-post, and saw the enemy coming
against me in a cloud of dust, which left me rather uncertain about
their actual numbers and real intentions: to wrap myself up in a
similar cloud was common prudence, but would not have much advanced my
knowledge, or answered the end for which I had been sent out; therefore
I let my flankers on both wings spread to the right and left and make
what dust they could, and I myself led on straight upon the enemy, to
have nearer sight of them: in this I was gratified, for they stood and
fought, till, for fear of my flankers, they began to move off rather
disorderly. This was the moment to fall upon them with spirit; we broke
them entirely – made a terrible havoc amongst them, and drove them not
only back to a walled town in their rear, but even through it, contrary
to our most sanguine expectation.
The swiftness of my Lithuanian enabled me to be foremost in the pursuit;
and seeing the enemy fairly flying through the opposite gate, I thought
it would be prudent to stop in the market-place, to order the men to
rendezvous. I stopped, gentlemen; but judge of my astonishment when
in this market-place I saw not one of my hussars about me! Are they
scouring the other streets? or what is become of them? They could not
be far off, and must, at all events, soon join me. In that expectation
I walked my panting Lithuanian to a spring in this market-place, and let
him drink. He drank uncommonly, with an eagerness not to be satisfied,
but natural enough; for when I looked round for my men, what should I
see, gentlemen! the hind part of the poor creature – croup and legs were
missing, as if he had been cut in two, and the water ran out as it came
in, without refreshing or doing him any good! How it could have happened
was quite a mystery to me, till I returned with him to the town-gate.
There I saw, that when I rushed in pell-mell with the flying enemy, they
had dropped the portcullis (a heavy falling door, with sharp spikes at
the bottom, let down suddenly to prevent the entrance of an enemy into
a fortified town) unperceived by me, which had totally cut off his hind
part, that still lay quivering on the outside of the gate. It would have
been an irreparable loss, had not our farrier contrived to bring both
parts together while hot. He sewed them up with sprigs and young shoots
of laurels that were at hand; the wound healed, and, what could not have
happened but to so glorious a horse, the sprigs took root in his body,
grew up, and formed a bower over me; so that afterwards I could go upon
many other expeditions in the shade of my own and my horse’s laurels.
CHAPTER VI
_The Baron is made a prisoner of war, and sold for a slave – Keeps the
Sultan’s bees, which are attacked by two bears – Loses one of his bees;
a silver hatchet, which he throws at the bears, rebounds and flies up to
the moon; brings it back by an ingenious invention; falls to the earth
on his return, and helps himself out of a pit – Extricates himself from
a carriage which meets his in a narrow road, in a manner never before
attempted nor practised since – The wonderful effects of the frost upon
his servant’s French horn._